Running away

It's not how i supposed to be.
This is not me, I am not like this at the first time
When is the first time anyway?
I forget....

Why do i keep running away? Why do i keep ignoring?
Why do i keep telling myself that being like this is okay?
Shouldn't i step on my own feet right now, and doing the best that i usually done

Oh, maybe because I don't have so many reasons right now to trying hard
to push myself to compete with the world.
or is it because, I scared?

I scared of getting hurt? getting down? and disappoint?
how pathetic....
what do you want to do then? running away?
running where? you just gonna ended up here
why do i keep circling back?
because you are too scared to jump

you keep screaming 'freedom' and act like a nonchalant kid
while you actually the one whom chained by the situation
why don't blame the situation then?
but aren't you the one who put yourself in?